Tuesday 5: Summer time and the living is....busy?!

Okay, wow.  Sooooo...I took the summer off.  Sorry about that.  I have been BUSY!  This time I actually mean it and I wasn't just suffering from writer's block.

I'm gonna do a Tuesday 5 to get back in the groove, alright?

Thanks for sticking with me, by the way.  And HELLLLOOoooooo to the new faces!  (Pretend that was Seinfeld.)

Without further ado...

1.  I started a new job in May, as a trainer.  I love it.  It's always different and I get to talk a LOT.  Only downside is all. the. MEETINGS.  OMGoodness!  That's okay, though because I would still rather be stuck in a meeting than sitting at a desk doing the same work over and over and over ad infinitum.  I also chose a standing desk at my workspace.  I love it.  I occasionally do a bit of yoga while standing.  I do some squats or calf raises while reading stuff and my legs feel much better.

2.  I am involved in 3 SIGNIFICANT things within my parish.  I have weekly meetings for two of them and am about to start monthly meetings for the third one.  I'm actually THRILLED!  I like having 50 things going at once so this suits me just fine.  The people I work with are all brilliant and kind and funny and creative and so, so generous with their spirits, their words, and their time.  It's amazing.  Truly.  I love my parish so much!

3.  So, I flaked on no-spend August you guys!  I just couldn't plan and commit this year.  It was so hard.  I was busy and just feeling depressed and deflated (losing one of my pets and gaining back some weight will do that to you) and I just felt so blah that I didn't do it.  BUT, I have my shopping list for September and tomorrow after work I am going to prep.  It's going to be a September fiscal fast instead.  I have a few old blog posts on this, if you are clueless.  Check 'em out!

4.  I've been thinking about babies a lot lately.  There's a song by Jason Aldean called "Laughed until we Cried" and it came on my mp3 today.  This is one of the verses:

Just the other night the baby was cryin
So I got out of bed rocked her awhile and I held her tight
And I told her it would be all right
My mind went back to a few years ago
We tried so long, we almost gave up hope
And I remember you comin' in and tellin me the news
Oh man we were livin, goin crazy in the kitchen
We danced and screamed and held each other tight
We laughed until we cried

Ugh, you guys.  I wanted this so badly...I dreamed of the day that I could do this with my husband.  It touches my heart so deeply and some days I can't handle it.  It's been a while since I've felt as sad as I did when all the fertility stuff was actively happening to me.  I trust in Jesus to help me.  He's there.  I know it.  It's just really f'in depressing sometimes.  It makes me hide that pain behind something else and not processing this crap hasn't helped.  Sometimes I watch a bunch of sad videos to force myself to cry it out, but I have to find joy in small things.  I have to. 

5.  Well, the inevitable "signs of aging" have started.  Oh boy.  (Note the sarcasm.)  I put my hair up in a top knot the other day and I apparently have glitter all over my hair now...?  Or something glinting in the light.  I'm going with strands of glitter.  I also have to fill in my eyebrows with a pencil now.  Okay, that's just not cool.  Why do eyebrows thin?  I don't want to be the middle aged woman with just one thin line as my brow.  Also, there's a vessel in my eyelid that's now visible.  The hell is that?  My hands are getting old, too.  This can't be happening!  Where do I submit complaints?  

Get off my lawn, you durn kids!  

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday 5: Baseball, books, and BRINNER!

Chilaquiles!!

1.  I successfully made chilaquiles for supper this evening.  It is traditionally a brunch item, but I need brinner in my life!  Especially some bomb af chilaquiles!  However, it made me realize that my small city only has a couple of Hispanic/Latin markets.  Traditional chilaquiles (red sauce) are made with guajillo chiles.  These are flavorful, mild chiles.  You buy them dried and then pour boiling water over them to soak for 15 minutes.  They are also topped with yolky eggs, my favorite!  My husband is crazy and only likes hard cooked eggs, so I had to make a couple for him.  It was a winning recipe and Rick and my stepson Daden loved them.  Bonus:  I get the leftovers for lunch tomorrow!  Mmmmm...chilaquiles.

2.  I have not been doing so well on the whole weight loss thing recently.  I have gained back a lot of what I lost.  Partly because I couldn't afford my trainer anymore, which led to zero discipline.  I am part of a Facebook group of alumni from my alma mater that is focused on health and fitness though.  We are currently reading a book called "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst.  I couldn't wait for the person in charge to catch up with the questions and stuff, so I went ahead and read the whole thing.  I finished it today.  If you are a Christian, this is a great book to help you focus on weight loss as a spiritual journey and not just as a weight loss journey.  It focuses on self-discipline, which can be great for weight loss and help you increase in holiness.  I loved that perspective and am going to do my best to focus on that and also to pray, pray, pray.  Which to me is something that helps in so many areas of life.

3.  Next up is Jenny Lawson's "Furiously Happy", which I have heard nothing but good things about.  I also have Martin Short's memoir, "I Must Say" and Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island".  I discovered a new way to get ebooks along the way.  It's an app. called Overdrive.  You log in to your public library account through the Overdrive app. and choose books available on their site.  Then, you can download it as a regular ePub book or in Kindle format.  I have a Kindle, so when you choose that, it sends you to Amazon, where you log in and download the book.  It's amazing!!  And Free!!  Did I say FREE?!?!  I meant it.  Also, you can get lots of NEW books on it and place holds.  I currently have holds on the new David Sedaris and Chrissy Teigen's cookbook.

4.  Baseball is back baby!!  I can't wait to see how my WORLD CHAMPION Kansas City Royals do this year.  Dang, it feels good to say that!  They are amazing and really just such a great team, because they are a true TEAM.  Four of the players who are really good friends, Eric Hosmer, Lorenzo Cain, Salvador Perez, and Jarrod Dyson even did an awkward family photoshoot!

L to R:  Cain, Perez, Hosmer, Dyson

5.  I interviewed for a new position last Wednesday.  This new position would be in a different state department, as a medical trainer for Elderly and Disabled Medicaid.  They only interviewed 3 people!  Eek.  I thought I had a pretty good interview, but it's so hard to tell.  Of course, I haven't heard anything about it yet, but I know they were checking my references.  I would love this because it is truly what I want to do, but I do enjoy my current position and my current supervisor is amazing.  It's always hard to leave one job that you love for another that you hope to love, but aren't sure about.  Although, in this case, my direct supervisor would be someone who is a friend.


Have a great week everyone!!  Lob some ideas my direction, because I am failing miserably with thinking up my own.  Yes, I've tried idea generators, but I can't seem to find something I like.  Hmm...maybe I should just start jotting down my dreams.  I have some crazypants dreams!  What do you think?

A Letter to My Fat(t)

My dear, darling Wobbly Bits,

This was one farewell letter I never thought I would write.  You have been with me for so long, it seemed a bit unrealistic that you'd ever leave.

You were there for me during some very vulnerable moments in my life.  You helped shape my junior high and high school experience.  To be fair, I didn't really care for you then.  You caused a LOT of hurt feelings and anger.  I blamed you as the sole reason why I never dated in high school, although truthfully, it was probably because I was kind of a know-it-all bitch.  That's a story for another day, my friend.

Instead, I really want to reminisce about all of our lovely times together.  Boy, we had some hoots, didn't we?  I'll never forget the myriad of times you helped pop a button or two off my pants.  Oh, lawdy, it seemed like you always did it at
the most inopportune and embarrassing moments!  Hilarious, dear friend.  I mean, there is nothing like losing a button and having to go all day trying to carefully orchestrate my movements so no one saw my tan knickers underneath.  Haha...you are truly one of a kind fatt.  I'm designating you an extra 'T' for Terrific, because that's how much you mean to me.

What about that time that we overheard a guy's friends talk about you?  Oh my, I was riled up that day.  Here we were, just having a fun time with a guy we both found interesting, only to hear his friends wonder why he would ever be with someone who was fatt.  How dare they insult you?  I just upped and walked out of there on your behalf.  I was appalled for you, and myself.

That's okay though, I knew our relationship was rock solid.  You were there when I was (non)dumped  (It's a long story for another time, really) by my college boyfriend and comforted me through that horrid, desperate last semester.  You gave me some cushion for that hurt.  You listened to Trisha Yearwood's "How Do I live" with me over and over ad nauseam until my friends threatened to throw away that CD.  You were there when he tried to get back together with me and I told him we were different people and let him know I was moving on.  You helped me be strong.  It probably helped that there was a lot more of you in the weeks and months following that breakup.

Don't forget how exciting you made it when I danced!  So much fun, wasn't it?!  Fatt, you really helped those wobbly bits jiggle to the music!  It was always entertaining when you were around.  I probably couldn't have consumed nearly as many Lemon Drop shots without you!

Oh my, I'm already talking about you in the past tense.  I can't believe it!  37 years I've found comfort in you.  37 years I've talked bad about you, loved you, hated you, tried to banish you from my life only to have you return like Arnie in that one movie.  You know, Expendables 2, when he comes back to help fight the bad guys with Sly Stallone and Jason Statham...oh, Statham...muscles...I digress.  Sorry.

Anywho, we've had a ride, haven't we?   You were even there when I met and fell in love with the most fantastic man, my husband Rick.  Do you remember that first rush of emotions and every subsequent squeeze thereafter?  I even remember after he proposed and someone asked if I was going to try to get rid of you before the wedding.  I vehemently denied that prospect.  I mean, why would I do that to you fatt?  If he loved you and I together, surely you belonged there as much as my bridesmaids?

You really settled in after Rick and I were married.  I had the happy and now I had even more of the fatt.  I was truly fatt and happy.  I still am, though there's less of you than there was.  For some reason, my energy and subsequent happiness has increased considerably as you have been packing up.

But alas, old friend, it's time to say goodbye.  It's been a long and arduous journey, but I think we're both better off apart.  I'm glad you aren't just GONE, without a backwards glance.  I'm glad you are taking your time in moving on, I don't want to rush you.  It's hard to lose you though.  My husband doesn't have as much of me to squeeze without you.  My wobbly bits don't jiggle as much when I am dancing as they used to.  My pants are eons away from popping buttons now.  In fact, they are barely hanging on to my hips most of the time nowadays.

Don't expect a reunion any time soon, though.  I will not be going all Lloyd Dobler on you, no "In your Eyes" playing on a raised boombox to get you back.  We've had a lot of fun, you and I, but it's time.  This is the last hurrah.  I will miss you...but we'll always have the memories.

One last John Bender fist in the air for you, my friend.

Goodbye.